<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>we're carving hearts into the dark by ciminos</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27599704">we're carving hearts into the dark</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ciminos/pseuds/ciminos'>ciminos</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Love Victor (TV 2020)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Diners, Character Study, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, Humor, Idiots in Love, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Pining, basically brasstown is a diner instead of a cafe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 00:48:13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,267</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27599704</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ciminos/pseuds/ciminos</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Victor's family decide to visit a local restaurant for dinner, however, Victor finds himself continuing to come back once he meets the cute waiter who makes him forget about his crumbling family life.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Benjamin "Benji" Campbell/Victor Salazar</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>75</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>we're carving hearts into the dark</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hiiii! i miss victor and benji so much so i literally spent all day writing this &lt;333 pls enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s around 5 pm when Victor is once again pulled from the peaceful silence he had been taking advantage of by studying and is flooded with the sound of yelling as it swarms throughout his apartment. Even in his own room with the door shut he couldn’t block out the constant bickering that ensued nearly every day.</p><p>You’d think that after some time you would get used to the yelling that constantly drowned out any other noise that tried to escape, but the truth is it was never easy. Especially when that arguing was coming from your own parents. The two people you assume would be together forever with nary an argument ever since you were a kid. </p><p>He turns the music up on his speakers in a desperate attempt to silence the voices, but it does nothing as usual. Sighing, Victor slowly pulls himself out of his chair and rolls his shoulders back, letting out a grown as he releases the tension that had swelled within them. </p><p>Although, he still feels a certain weight pressed into his back no matter what he does. He’s tried massages from Felix (which were actually really nice and he would definitely continue asking for them, even though they didn’t work), taking pain medication, and sleeping in different positions, but no matter what he could always feel it, almost like his own heartbeat, it was ever-present and persistent, constantly weighing him down. </p><p>He places his hand on his doorknob and closes his eyes tightly. Forcibly, he replaces the annoyed expression on his face with a large strained smile. </p><p>For as long as Victor could remember, he had always been the mediator for his family. He always knew exactly what to say to stop an argument, and exactly what to keep to himself to prevent one from happening. </p><p>Of course, he was growing tired of it. Tired of always having to pretend that his life was perfect just so that his dad wouldn’t crumble around him, tired of bottling up everything just so that his mom wouldn’t have another thing to worry about. But what else was he supposed to do?</p><p>Besides his parent's own marital problems, Pilar and Adrian both constantly cause trouble in school as well as at home, he was the only one left to pick up the pieces of their broken family and glue them back together, no matter how hard it was. </p><p>He knew that one day he would break. That all the emotion he kept bottled up would tip over and spill out. That all the pressure weighing down on him would cause him to shatter and fall to pieces, but he swallows down those thoughts and does his best to be the piece of the puzzle that keeps them all together. </p><p>He sucks in a deep breath before he pushes the door open loudly enough to get his parents attention,</p><p>“Who wants to go out to eat tonight?” He shouts over his parents—instantly quieting them. He lets himself appreciate the silence that was now present in the apartment, as he knew it would disappear as quickly as it happened. It was crazy how the silence could almost make him forget about the broken world around him. Almost.</p><p>He watches as their mouths almost comically clamp shut and slowly turn to face him. Their faces are painted with horror as if they had just been caught doing something illegal, it was almost funny. He’d probably laugh if he wasn’t so used to it, or if it was somebody else’s parents.</p><p>They both quickly force smiles onto their faces matching his own and begin walking over towards him. It made part of him sick that his parents actually believed that they were fooling anyone. Their walls aren’t soundproof, and they all know that. He’s sure that Felix could probably hear them arguing from down the hall, but he doesn’t say anything, and neither do they.</p><p>“Oh let’s go to this diner I’ve been hearing about at work,” his dad says calmly, “it’s supposed to be really good.”</p><p>“Sure I could go for a hot meal, plus then we won’t have to do dishes.” His mom agrees, planting a quick peck onto her husband’s cheek. Seriously? They know he has ears right?</p><p>“I don’t know what you guys are talking about but I heard the word dishes and I’m not doing them.” Pilar speaks up as she walks into the kitchen with Adrian draped over her shoulders, his phone balanced on top of her head as a video blasts through the phone’s speakers. </p><p>“Me neither.” Adrien says as he shakes his head and taps his fingers lightly on Pilar’s arms, signaling that he wants to be put down. </p><p>As he hops down Victor watches as his phone slowly begins to tip-off of Pilar’s head, he rushes over and catches it a few inches before it hits the tile floor and lets out a sigh of relief. </p><p>“Nobody is doing dishes because we’re going out.” Victor says calmly, handing his brother's phone back to him before patting him on the head. Just another day in the Salazar house. What’s new.</p><p>**</p><p>They finally get to the restaurant after a 10-minute drive that literally felt like it would never end. By the time his dad finally parks the car he nearly falls right out of it in relief as he jumps out. </p><p>Whoever said that time passes by quicker when you’re having fun was definitely right because that was the slowest 10 minutes of his life. From being squeezed in the back seat next to his suddenly feuding siblings to attempting to shift the conversation between his parents any time it started to stray into dangerous territory— he was already exhausted before dinner had even started. </p><p>As soon as they walk through the front door of the diner, an ungodly amount of scents instantly flood through the air and into their noses. Victor challenges his siblings to pick apart how many different foods they can smell and feels his mouth water as he counts as well. </p><p>Victor takes the time as they wait to be seated to look around the diner. The entire room is pretty tiny. Right inside the door is a large bar that stretches down the entire backside of the restaurant, allowing patrons to sit on barstools and watch their food being made over the counter. </p><p>There are a few people sat there, all with large smiles on their faces as they enjoy both their food and the company of whom they’re eating with. Victor laughs to himself trying to imagine what that must be like. He wonders how they’d feel if they were in his place.</p><p>They meet eyes with a 17-something-year-old who leads them towards the back of the diner into a large booth next to a giant window. The view is pretty subpar as all he can see is the parking lot and the sidewalk in front of it, although he wasn’t quite sure what he expected.</p><p> Victor thinks he recognizes the waitress from school so he and Pilar try their best not to make eye contact out of fear of embarrassment later on when their parents inevitably start arguing over dinner. They both quickly pull out their phones and raise them right in front of their heads, shielding their faces from the worker.</p><p>He didn’t need to be known as the kid who’s parents were a fight away from divorce. He just wanted to fade into the background like all the other nobodies and cruise his way through high school like a breeze. That was possible for someone like him right?</p><p>She takes their drink orders and then disappears into the kitchen. Victor picks up his menu and skims through it. He was the type of person who always got the same thing every time he ate out, no matter what restaurant he went to. He likes to tell himself that the next time he goes somewhere he’ll try something different—but he never does. Because of all the chaos going on in his life, it was nice for one thing to be the same. One thing that he could control. </p><p>“Hi! Have your drink orders already been taken?” A soft voice speaks up at the edge of their table. When Victor looks up and meets eyes with the young boy he physically feels his heart skip a beat. </p><p>The boy has brown hair that’s pushed back out of his face, yet a few strands hang innocently in front of his eyes. He’s wearing a black t-shirt that clings against his arms and blue skinny jeans that hug his legs. His eyes are light brown but under the overhead light speckles of green shine through them.</p><p>Victor catches himself staring for longer than he’d like to admit and forcibly coughs into his arm before breaking eye contact. He brings his menu directly up to his face and does his best to look as if he was deeply interested in what he was reading. Wow, enchiladas! How incredibly fascinating. </p><p>“Yes they have, but I think we’re actually ready to order food if that’s okay?” He hears his mom speak—although it's barely audible, as his own heartbeat races through his ears like a drum being repeatedly hit as hard as it could. <i> boom, boom, boom, </i> echos through his ears and grows quicker by the second.</p><p>“Yeah, that’s perfect! What can I get started for you?”</p><p>Victor listens to the rest of his family's order and gulps when he realizes that it’s his turn. Without raising his gaze from the menu he orders his usual and focuses all of his attention on his own voice. Making sure he sounds completely normal and his internal crisis wasn’t noticeable. </p><p>“Got it! I’ll be back with your food soon,” The waiter cheers, “and my name is Benji by the way, if you need anything else, just shout my name.” </p><p>The table goes silent and Victor lets out a sigh of relief assuming the waiter has left until he speaks again, </p><p>“I can take that from you if you’re done, although you seem to be very interested in it.” He laughs.</p><p>Victor's grip on the menu tightens and he feels his face flush. He looks up at Benji and instantly regrets it as their eyes lock into each others once again. Despite being brown they were a beautiful chocolate color that made Victor want to drown in them. </p><p>“O-oh yeah! Here you go!” Victor stutters as he hands over his menu quickly, nearly dropping it out of his hands. He notices that his fingers are slightly trembling and he prays that nobody can tell.</p><p>Benji only chuckles before grabbing the menu from his grasp and walking back behind the counter and towards the kitchen where the other waitress had disappeared to earlier. Seriously could Victor be any more obvious? He thought he’d finally figured out how to keep his emotions under control yet here this cute waiter comes and it's like everything he’s practiced had been blown out the window.</p><p>Victor looks up and finds eyes from his entire family staring at him in utter confusion. Although they are all looking at him with innocent intentions, he feels as if each gaze is burning into him, each passing second causing his insides to melt into a warm gooey mess.</p><p>“What’s up with that?” His mom teases.</p><p>“ Oh, I just know him from school mama, you know how embarrassing it is to see someone you know from school outside of it. Small world.” He brushes off. It’s a lie. But lying seemed to be all he did to his parents nowadays. He was getting pretty good at it. </p><p>“She probably doesn’t know, it’s been centuries since the last time she went to school.” Pilar snips. </p><p>“What did you just say to m-“ </p><p>Victor cuts his mom off quickly, far too used to their continuous back and forth, “Wow look at that sunset! It’s beautiful.” He quickly digresses, pointing out towards the parking lot that was suddenly engulfed in a rosy hue. </p><p>He watches as his entire family looks out the window and admires the beautiful view. As if a paintbrush had marked it’s way through the sky, Dark violet meets a bright pink tone that blends together into beautiful photo-worthy scenery. He pulls out his own camera and notices his family already beginning to do the same. </p><p>It was almost funny, his chaotic and completely dysfunctional family contrasted against a beautiful sunset.</p><p>**</p><p>They finally finish their food in a peaceful silence that Victor wishes he could capture and keep forever. He envies the passerby who probably think that they’re a giant happy family who gets along all the time, if only that were true. The only reason someone wasn’t at another one’s throat at the moment was due to the fact that their mouths were stuffed with food. </p><p>When it’s time to pay Victor offers himself up to walk over to the front of the diner as he knew that if he didn’t—someone would end up complaining about having to do it. </p><p>He reaches the front counter and dings the small silver bell that sat atop of it. He watches around him as every waiter seems to be preoccupied and decides to pull out his phone. However, all he manages to do is unlock it before a voice behind him causes him to yelp, nearly dropping his phone,</p><p>“Hi! O-oh my gosh i’m so sorry I didn’t mean to scare you.” A familiar voice gasps. Victor doesn’t look up but he feels fingers wrap around his arm. His gaze darts over and he stares down at the pale hand that snakes up his bicep and relaxes on his shoulder. Despite the clearly purest intentions of trying to calm him down, Victor audibly gulps, shaking his head to clear his thoughts. Not the time. </p><p>“It’s fine no worries, man,” Victor forces out, instantly missing the touch once the waiters pulls his hand away, “we’re ready to pay.”</p><p>“Of course!” Benji chirps as he steps behind the counter and reads the check aloud quietly to himself, “That’ll be $54.13.”</p><p>Victor silently pulls the debit card from his back pocket and extends his arm out with a smile. </p><p>The restaurant’s cash register was clearly out of date, possibly to fit in with the old-school feel inside the diner, or maybe because they just couldn’t afford a newer one, but Victor watches as the other boy individually types in every order into the machine. </p><p>“So, do you go to Creekwood? I feel like i’ve seen you before.” The waiter speaks, starting small talk as he continues typing out orders. He curses under his breath when he makes a mistake and Victor doesn’t allow his mind to wander into dangerous and completely inappropriate territory. </p><p>“Oh yeah I do, I’m a sophomore. Are you?”</p><p>“Yeah, I am. Although I was born in November so technically I should be junior but you know November birthdays are always weird they never know what grade to put you in- and that’s probably more than you needed to know.” Benji chuckles as he catches himself beginning to ramble. </p><p>“Oh no, it’s a great story. I’ll be sure to wish you a happy birthday next month,” Victor teases,  "Although you haven’t told me the date so I guess I’ll have to come here every day and wish you a happy birthday until it actually is.”</p><p>“I wouldn’t complain.” Benji smiles. Victor feels his face heat so he looks down and fiddles with a loose piece of string on his sweatshirt.</p><p>“So, family dinner tonight? That’s really cute, you must be a close family.”</p><p>Victor can’t help the laugh that bursts out of his mouth when the words register in his head. <i>Close.</i> Well that could be a way to describe it. Victor had to be close to them in order to know each one of their ticks and prevent them from happening. But <i>cute</i>? Not anywhere near it. But nobody needed to know that, especially not a stranger. </p><p>“Oh yeah, I'm <i>really</i> lucky.” He lies through his teeth. Each word feels as if it’s burning his tongue as it escapes. Benji only smiles before looking back down at the register,</p><p>“Aha! I finally got it!” Benji exclaims as he swipes the card and then hands it back to Victor, “Have a nice night…Oh I never got your name.”</p><p>“It’s Victor.” Victor smiles. </p><p>“Well then have a nice night, <i>Victor</i>, see you soon.”</p><p>“See you soon, Benji.”</p><p>**</p><p>“But I don’t want chicken for dinner!” Adrian’s voice echoes throughout the apartment.</p><p>“Well, I do! And it’s all we have!” Pilar shouts back, voice nearly strained from screaming. Victor thinks he sees the paintings hung up on the walls begin to shake. </p><p>“No to both of you, we’re having the leftover pasta from a few nights ago.” Victor's mom growls. It isn’t as loud as his siblings but it’s definitely the scariest. </p><p>Victor sighs to himself before quickly hopping off the couch and heading into the connecting kitchen,</p><p>“Hey, why don’t we just get food delivered that we can all agree on.” he pipes in, voice chipper and calm. Thank God he has perfected a way to hide the annoyance in his voice because <i>wow</i> was he annoyed.</p><p>“Can we even afford that? Aren’t we broke?” Pilar questions cheekily. </p><p>“You remember we moved here because your dad got a new job right?” His mom grunts.</p><p>“Alright, well he left money on the counter so what should we get?” </p><p>Victor walks over to his laptop and brings it over to the kitchen table. His family gathers around him and peer over his shoulder as he looks up food delivery near them.</p><p>**</p><p>Nearly half an hour and countless arguments later, Pilar has the brilliant idea to order food from the diner they had visited yesterday. Leave it to Pilar to convince everyone to want dinner from the one restaurant in town that doesn’t deliver. </p><p>“I guess I can drive there and order the food to go,” Victor states, shutting his laptop and walking towards the coat rack by the front door. “Text me what everyone wants Pilar, I’ll be back soon.” Victor tugs on his coat and pulls open the front door before locking it behind him. </p><p>Finally, peace and quiet. Part of him wants to stay out for hours and not come back until everyone is asleep, but he knows he can’t. Someone has to take care of his family. And it wasn’t going to be anyone else. </p><p>**</p><p>Victor walks in to the familiar diner and breaths in the smells of freshly cooked food. The restaurant is pretty packed tonight compared to yesterday so he takes a seat on the bench to the side of the front doors and waits for an available waiter to come over. </p><p>Just a few minutes later he is greeted by a familiar voice that nearly sends him into shock. He peers up over his phone and up into the eyes of the same waiter from yesterday, Benji. Just his luck. </p><p>“Oh hey Victor, you’re back!” He exclaims.</p><p>“Hey, and yeah I know! Back sooner than you thought huh.” Victor laughs as he stands up and rolls his shoulders.</p><p>“Yeah,” Benji chuckles softly. And my god, as if it was even possible, he looks even more attractive than yesterday. Today he is wearing a white long-sleeve that fits loosely around his waist, as well as black skinny jeans with slight fraying at the ends of the legs. His hair is no longer slicked back and is instead sat perfectly atop of his head as if he had individually styled each and every golden-brown strand.  “You here by yourself tonight?”</p><p>“No actually, I’m just here to pick up food and bring it back home.”</p><p>“Oh, well I just clocked out but if you let me know what you need, I can go and let the kitchen know.”</p><p>“Oh, you don’t have to do that.” Victor blushes slightly.</p><p>“It’s no problem,” Benji insists before wrapping his fingers around Victor's wrist and guiding him over towards the entrance to the kitchen, “besides, you’d have to wait forever for your food if you waited for another worker.”</p><p>Victor covers his blushing face with his phone as he pulls it up in front of him. He opens his message thread with Pilar and then slowly hands his phone over to Benji. The boy grabs it with a smile and then disappears back into the kitchen.</p><p>Victor takes this time to look around the diner. He notices a few kids from school with who he tries his best to not make eye-contact with. He also notices an old couple in one of the booths and imagines what it’s like to be with someone for that long. You must have to really love the person you’re with. He couldn’t imagine his parents being that old and still being together.</p><p> He looks out the window and finds that the sky looks similar to the sunset that he and his family had admired last night. He walks over to an empty booth and slides all the way over until he is pressed against the window. The pink sky lights up the parking lot and makes it look straight out of a photograph.</p><p>He lets his mind wander as he thinks about how peaceful it is being there by himself compared to yesterday. He thinks about what his family are up to right about now and how they’re probably about to strangle each other. He thinks about how he needs to get started on some school work when he gets back home and how he should call Felix to come over so they can study together.</p><p>He also thinks about Benji. He wonders what his family life is like. If his family was actually sane and happy. If they went to family dinners and enjoyed each other's company. </p><p>He wonders how he does in school, what clubs he’s in, what classes he’s taking. He wonders if he has that special someone in his life. </p><p>His train of thought is broken when he notices Benji slide into the seat across from him and places his phone down onto the tabletop, </p><p>“Alright, order’s all placed. Should be about 30 minutes though,” He says as he follows Victor's gaze to the bright pink sky outside, “wow.”</p><p>“I know.” Victor exhales calmly. He grabs his phone from where Benji had sat it down and opens up the camera app before pointing it out the window. He takes a few shots until he notices Benji get out of the seat and stand over him, </p><p>“Here, follow me.” He chuckles as he extends out his arm. </p><p>“Where are we going?” He questions but grasps onto Benji’s arm regardless. He tries not to focus on their physical contact and instead looks up the other boy with a raised eyebrow as he gets pulled up. </p><p>“Just trust me.” Is all Benji says before he leads him out the back of the diner and towards the side of the building. </p><p>He digs through his front pockets and pulls out a set of keys. He fiddles through a few of them until he finds the right one and uses it to unlock an old rusted door. He opens it with a slight push and then holds it open for Victor to walk through. </p><p>Hesitantly, Victor walks through and is met with a set of steep wooden stairs which are lit up by white Christmas lights strung along the railing. Benji shuts the door behind them and then walks up the stairs, signaling for Victor to follow him. </p><p>At the top of the stairs sits another door that Benji forces open and then walks through. When Victor makes his way out of the stairwell he audibly gasps as he takes in the view around him. The roof of the diner is lit with the same white lights that had been used on the stairs. There are a few old soda cans littered around the place but other than that the roof is pretty clean.</p><p>Over towards the left are a couple of outdoor sofa-benches which are covered in large blue tarps, presumably to keep in good condition from the cold October weather. Benji silently walks over and yanks on one of the tarps, revealing a white-cushioned bench, and takes a seat, pulling a small table over with his feet in order to lay them on top if it. He pats the spot next to him and waits for Victor to sit down before looking up at the sky, </p><p>“See, the sky looks even prettier out here.” He sighs contemptibly. </p><p>“You’re right it does.” Victor awes, taking in the view around him. The sky is a little darker now, but the view makes up for it. Surrounding the two of them is a pink hue that reflects onto them. He looks over to Benji and takes in just how handsome he looked under the light of the sky. He almost wants to take a picture of him rather than the sunset, but that would be weird. Right? </p><p> Benji notices him staring and smiles before pulling out his own phone and pointing it directly at Victor, </p><p>“What are you doing?” Victor worries. Benji only giggles before the click of his phone camera is heard. He opens the picture from his camera roll and holds it in front of the other boys face, </p><p>“Just thought that it would be a nice picture.” He grins. </p><p>Okay seriously, did he just read his mind or something? </p><p>“Wow you’re right, I look sexy.” Victor teases, before pulling up his own phone and pointing it at Benji. His smile widens when the boy poses in several different positions and laughs to himself. He takes many pics and the two of them scoot closer so that they can admire the goofy photos. </p><p>“Oh, let’s take one together!” Benji exclaims before quickly extending his arm out and centering the two of them in frame. Victor uses all of his strength to keep it together as he takes several photos. He doesn’t think about how extremely close together they are, and he definitely doesn’t think about the arm that had been snaked around his back as the photos were being taken. </p><p>Benji finally seems satisfied enough with the photos and retracts his arm to grab onto his phone with both hands. Victor secretly misses the touch but he doesn’t dare say anything. </p><p>“Wow these are really good,” Victor admires as he looks over the photos, “you gotta send them to me.” </p><p>“Sure, what’s your number?”</p><p>Victor grabs Benji’s phone and creates a contact for himself. He makes the contact photo one of the pictures of the two of them and makes his contact name ‘Victor’ with a bunch of random emojis at the end of it. </p><p>Benji laughs as he watches Victor type in his info before grabbing Victor's own and doing the same. </p><p>They re-exchange phones and then place them back into their pockets, before breaking off into conversation. They talk about anything and everything. They talk about school and how Benji had a test in science tomorrow that he definitely needed to study for, they talk about basketball and how Victor wanted to kill his teammates, and they talk about their families. </p><p>Victor learns that Benji isn’t as close to his family ever since he had come out to them a few months ago.</p><p> He was honestly amazed that Benji could share such a personal story with someone he had just met, but he also envied how easy it was for him. He hasn’t even told his friends back in Texas that he’d known for years that he was gay or ever his own family, let alone a stranger like it was no big deal. </p><p>Victor doesn’t share much about his own, other than funny stories from their road trip across the states when they were moving. He doesn’t talk about his parents’ fights or his sibling's problems at school, and it’s almost peaceful to pretend that he has a normal home-life and doesn’t spend nearly every second trying to keep them together.</p><p>Time passes quicker than Victor wishes as the sun continues to set around them until its eventually a dark blue abyss. Back in Texas it was hard to see any stars because of all the pollution in the air, but here the sky was covered in white speckles that matched the lights surrounding them. </p><p>Eventually, it’s time to go get the food from inside and head back home, and Victor dreads having to ruin his good night by walking into the apartment and having to stop whatever fight was going on at that moment but well, what’s new.</p><p>He says goodbye to Benji and thanks him again before getting in his car and driving home. He listens to the radio and keeps his mind blank the entire drive until he pulls into the garage. </p><p>When he gets out of the car his phone dings and he pulls it out of his pocket as he leans against the side of the vehicle. A text from <i>Benji is the best</i> is at the top of the notification tab and Victor rolls his eyes playfully as he reads the contact name. </p><p>
  <i>From: Benji is the best<br/>
Here’s the pictures, very cute.<br/>
I even made one my wallpaper, hope that’s not weird!</i>
</p><p>Victor laughs to himself as pictures continue to be sent in the chat. He tucks his phone back into his pocket and grabs the food from the passenger seat before locking the car door and heading up. When he reaches his floor he hears muffled yelling coming from further down the hallway and he immediately knows it’s coming from his own apartment. </p><p>He walks over and unlocks the door and is met with a throw pillow nearly hitting him in the face as he swings it open, </p><p>“Woah, what's going on?” Victor questions as he picks up the pillow and sets it back down onto the couch neatly. </p><p>“Victor, tell mom that these shorts are not <i>too</i> short.” Pilar growls. </p><p>“No Victor, tell her that she does not need to go out in public dressed like <i>that.</i>” His mom grunts back, gesturing up and down at her daughter.</p><p>Victor responds to neither of them and instead holds up the bag of food and dangles it in front of their faces, “Foods here!” </p><p>His family gasps and rushes over. Pilar grabs the bag from his hand and runs over to the kitchen table before tearing it open and digging through the food cartons. His mom calls Adrian from his room and the three of them all sit down and start eating. It’s funny they almost look like a bunch of wild vultures who haven’t eaten in days. </p><p>Victor makes his way over once everyone is settled in and picks up the takeout box with his own food in it,</p><p> “I’ve got to study so I’m gonna eat this in my room, don’t kill each other.” Victor says as he picks up some plastic cutlery and heads to his bedroom.</p><p>Once he gets into his room he drops the fake smile he always wore around his family and pulls out his desk chair. A similar feeling to when you wear something uncomfortable all day and then finally get to take it off. Being alone in his room and not having to pretend like everything was okay in his life was that piece of clothing. Except he couldn’t just not wear it again, he had to wear it every day.</p><p>He scoots a pile of papers onto the ground and pushes his laptop over enough so that he can put down his food onto his desk. He pulls out his phone again and smiles when he notices that Benji is <i>still</i> sending photos. </p><p>
  <i>From: Victor<br/>
Okay I think that’s enough photos. I didn’t realize we took that many.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>From: Benji is the best <br/>
Haha. I know right?<br/>
Good thing we look good in all of them. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>From: Victor<br/>
Pretty sure that’s just you.<br/>
Look at me in that last one.<br/>
I didn’t even realize I could make that face!</i>
</p><p>
  <i>From: Benji is the best<br/>
Wow! I’m flattered. But trust me, you look good too.<br/>
And I have good taste so I would know.</i>
</p><p>Victor blushes as he continues to text Benji and eat his dinner. They talk nearly all night while he does his homework and he even asks the other boy for some help whenever he gets stuck on a problem. He doesn’t realize how late it is until he hears his dad get home from work. He texts Benji goodnight before plugging in his phone and hopping into bed.</p><p> For the first time in a while, he manages to fall asleep almost immediately. Maybe that’s because he falls asleep thinking about a certain brown-haired, golden-eyed boy, but he doesn’t say anything. </p><p>**</p><p>It’s around 10 pm the next day when Victor hears his stomach growl. He tries to ignore it as he’s in the middle of an important homework assignment but the noises grow louder until he can no longer pretend it doesn’t exist. </p><p>He walks into the kitchen and swings open the fridge and tries to find something to calm his hunger, however, there isn’t very much. </p><p> For dinner, they had had ravioli, but there sadly weren’t any leftovers. The rest of his family was already asleep so he was at least thankful for the silent apartment.</p><p>He had been pretty busy all day so he hadn’t texted Benji, but he also knew that he was working late tonight and wouldn’t be able to text very much. He scrolls up in the thread to see what time Benji was getting off and found that he’s supposed to be off work pretty soon.</p><p>Would it be crazy if he drove over there right now? Well one, it's 10 pm. Two, he’d already eaten food from there the past two nights. But there really wasn’t anything to eat at home and he was starving. </p><p>He decides that he’ll end up going there anyway because he’ll probably regret it if he doesn’t. He pulls on his hoodie and tugs on his shoes before making his way to the bowl his family had kept their keys in. He digs through the countless sets of keys, more than half he had no idea what they were for until he realizes that the car keys aren’t in there.</p><p>His family all shared one car and the last one to use it was his dad when he drove home from work. Victor assumes that he probably kept them in his pants pocket which were more than likely now discarded somewhere in his parent's bedroom.</p><p> Maybe if his parents were different people he’d be fine with going in there and fishing for their keys, but he didn’t want to accidentally wake them up and either; cause an argument or get a copious amount of questions as to why he was leaving the house at 10 pm, no matter how innocent it was.</p><p>Sighing, Victor digs through the snack drawer and pulls out an old bag of chips. It’ll have to do until tomorrow morning. </p><p>He sits back down onto the couch and flips through the channels on the TV. He finds an interesting documentary and keeps it on as he scrolls through his phone. A few minutes later his phone dings with an incoming text. His face lights up,</p><p>
  <i>From: Benji is the best<br/>
Hey Victor! Just got off work, you still up?</i>
</p><p>
  <i>From: Victor<br/>
Of course! I’m not an old man.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>From: Benji is the best<br/>
Haha. Well, what have you been up to?<br/>
You weren’t here today, I missed you!</i>
</p><p>Victor’s face heats and his heartbeat echos rapidly in his ears.</p><p>
  <i>From: Victor<br/>
Yeah, I know! And I regret it.<br/>
I’m super hungry right now and my kitchen is bare.<br/>
Send help.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>From: Benji is the best<br/>
Oh no!<br/>
Well hey, I can come bring some food by if you want me to.<br/>
Just send me your address.<br/>
I assume you’ll be getting what you usually get haha.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>From: Victor<br/>
What?? You don’t have to do that.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>From: Benji is the best<br/>
It’s no problem. I wouldn’t mind eating dinner with company anyway.</i>
</p><p>**</p><p>About 30 minutes later Victor heads out of his apartment and meets eyes with Benji who’s waiting for him at the front of the building. He smiles as he unlocks the large metal gate and lets Benji inside. </p><p>“Welcome to mi casa…well… to mi apartamente! The outside of it at least.” Victor smiles as he makes his way over to a green rusted garden bench and sits down.</p><p>“I feel welcomed.” Benji grins back as he takes a seat next to him and places the bag of food between the two of them. </p><p>It’s pretty cold outside so luckily the food from the takeout box heats up their legs as they eat in a comfortable silence. The sounds of passing cars and distant people talking are the only noises but it's peaceful. </p><p>“Wow, is it always this cold on this side of town?” Benji says as he puts down his fork and uses his hands to rub his own arms. He’s wearing the same white long-sleeve that he wore yesterday but his hair is styled differently, this time loose and messy, yet still perfect. </p><p>Victor chuckles quietly before pulling off his hoodie and handing it over to the shivering boy.</p><p>Benji’s grin widens as he grabs onto the jacket and quickly pulls it over his head. His hair becomes even messier yet somehow he looks even better. How is that even possible. Part of him wants to reach over and tuck a few strands out of his face, but he holds himself back.</p><p>“You should keep it, you look way better in it than I do.” Victor giggles, picking his fork back up and continuing to eat. </p><p>Victor watches Benji out of the corner of his eye, he almost thinks he’s blushing but maybe it’s just a reflection from the lights around him. </p><p>They continue to eat and talk occasionally, both taking their time while enjoying their company. Finally, Victor realizes what it’s like to actually enjoy who you’re eating with. </p><p>Eventually, they finish their food, and Victor waves Benji off, still wearing his sweatshirt. He really did look better in it than he did, it wasn’t fair. Victor waits by the gate and watches the other boy as he gets into his car and drives off. </p><p>Once Benji’s car is out of sight he heads back up and into his apartment. He pulls out his phone to thank Benji again for the food and to tell him goodnight. This time he doesn’t fall asleep as quickly, however not because of stress, but because of the overwhelming love he felt for that boy.</p><p>**</p><p>It’s been a week since the last time Victor has seen Benji. His grandparents have been visiting from Texas so every night they have been enjoying a new home-cooked delicacy, meaning he didn’t have a reason to go get good from the diner. </p><p>Although he was sad that he hadn’t had a chance to go, it was definitely nice to not be eating the same thing every night in a row. </p><p> He hasn’t been texting Benji very much, only a couple times a day as they have both been busy with school and other activities, which Victor definitely missed more than the food. They still texted each other goodnight every time before either of them went to bed which he had to admit was his favorite part of the day. </p><p>Now, he loved his family. Of course, who doesn’t? But having to deal with his extremely conservative grandparents was an extra struggle that he really didn’t need right now.</p><p> It’s about half an hour till dinner when his grandparents pick an argument with his dad about another thing they’re doing wrong with parenting. It’s gotten to a point where Victor doesn’t get offended easily by them, but sometimes they really pissed him off.</p><p>They’re currently upset because Pilar is wearing a sweatshirt with an “inappropriate word” on it. I mean seriously? Is this the 60’s?</p><p>Victor does his best to ignore them as he turns up the volume on the TV and watches the basketball game that was currently on. He cheers as his favorite team makes a basket and notices his grandpa come over to watch as well. </p><p>Eventually, everyone gathers around the TV and watches the game with him, all cheering for the same team. It was crazy that this was probably the one time during his grandparent's entire visit that they could all agree on the same thing. Victor almost treasures the moment until his grandpa speaks up, instantly destroying any sense of appreciation he had,</p><p>“I saw on the news that that player right there is gay.”</p><p>“Really?” His grandma questions, disgust slightly detectable in his voice. </p><p>“O-oh they’re gonna go for it!” Victor shouts, trying to stop the conversation from going any further, but it doesn’t work. </p><p>“Yeah, he shouldn’t be allowed on the team now. I bet he’s constantly distracted by all those other men.” His grandpa grimaces. </p><p>Okay, nope. This is the exact reason that Victor has yet to come out to them yet, and doubts he ever will. I mean seriously?</p><p>“Who the hell cares?” Victor blurts out before he can stop himself.</p><p>“Victor…” His dad warns, sending a glare from across the room. </p><p>“What dad? You agree?” </p><p>“Let’s not do this right now.” </p><p>Victor stands up from the couch forcibly and heads over to the front door. He ignores his name being called out from his parents and instead silently pulls on his shoes and coat, grabs his keys, and walks out the door. </p><p>He gets in his car and pulls out of the parking lot. He isn’t sure where he’s going but he finds himself driving to the one person that manages to make him forget about his home life.</p><p>After a few minutes, he reaches the diner and pulls into the parking lot. He knows Benji’s working today so he won’t be able to talk, but he’s fine just eating alone by himself, away from his family. </p><p>Part of him felt childish, leaving home just because his grandparents shared some old-person opinions like they always did, but this time it was different. Taking shots about some stranger's sexuality because they didn’t dare to imagine that their own grandson was the same way. </p><p>He slowly pulls open the doors to the diner and waits to be seated. He’s greeted by the same 17-year-old girl who had got his family his drinks last time, and he does his best to not look like was completely stressed out. Although he wasn’t sure she was convinced and she gave him a deeply concerned look. </p><p>She leads him to the back of the bar and into a small booth before taking his drink order and leaving him alone. He ducks his head into hands and massages his temples as he stares down at the tabletop. </p><p>He hears a drink being quietly placed on to the table but he doesn’t look up until an all too familiar voice speaks up, </p><p>“Your drink sir.” Benji gleams. </p><p>Victor hesitantly raises his head looks up into the other boy's eyes. He watches as they lose a glimmer of happiness and his facial expression melts into a look of concern. </p><p>“Oh my god Victor, are you okay?” His eyes widen as he slides into the seat across from him. </p><p>Victor exhales loudly before lowering his hands and laying them on top of the table,</p><p>“Yeah, I’m fine…” Victor tries to lie, but he can tell that Benji isn’t convinced. He sighs, “okay, I’m not completely fine, my grandparents just said some things that really affected me for some reason...I don’t know... normally they don’t but this time was different.” </p><p>“What did they say?” Benji asks. He reaches his hands out and places them on top of Victor's own. Victor looks down and feels a sense of relief. He’s about to speak until someone’s voice calls out,</p><p>“Benji! Table 2!”</p><p>Benji sends him an apologetic look before retracting his hands and standing up, “Hey, I'm off in about an hour. If you want to wait around, we can talk then.”</p><p>Victor only nods before he watches the boy rush off to the other side of the diner. He knows that he should go home. That he needs to do damage control otherwise his family may fall apart, but honestly, when he’s with Benji he feels like he deserves better than that. </p><p>Before, he always felt like his sole purpose in life was to be there for his family and support them as they moved on. He never gave himself his own chance to grow. To meet new people, to make friends, or to have a relationship. He just thought that he was someone who was never going to have a great love story, but maybe that wasn’t true. Maybe Benji was his great love story.</p><p> Maybe it was wildly premature. He’d only seen Benji in real life a couple of times yet he felt a certain connection to him that he never felt before with anyone. It was scary, but also exciting.

</p>
<p>**</p><p>Victor orders food and fiddles on his phone as he waits for Benji to get off work. He texts Pilar that he’s fine and is just visiting a friend, just so that his parents don’t stress. Because of course, even now when he feels like he’s crumbling he’s still worried about his parents.</p><p>Benji finally clocks out and leads Victor back up to the rooftop where they had admired the sunset just over a week ago. Once Benji sits down Victor realizes that he’s wearing the hoodie that he had given to him and he feels his chest swell. </p><p>He sits down next to him and stretches out his back, the tension ever-present beginning to weigh him down even more. </p><p>“Are you feeling better?” Benji questions, shifting his body so that he was facing Victor.</p><p>“Yeah, I guess. Family stuff is never easy though.”</p><p>“Trust me, I know,” Benji sighs. He reaches up and places his hand onto Victor’s shoulder. He melts under the touch and feels himself involuntarily lean into it. “What did your grandparents say?”</p><p> “They…” Victor sucks in a breath. His head pounds to the same beat of his heart as he thinks over everything he wants to say, “Well they were taking shots at this guy's sexuality because he was gay...mainly my abuelo was... and it really got to me because…” Victor wants to say it, but he physically can’t. </p><p>He can’t imagine that he’ll ever be comfortable enough to say the words aloud, especially not with a family like his. He knows that Benji wouldn’t just him, but he still can’t force the words out. But he can tell that the other boy understands because he’s immediately pulled into a tight hug. </p><p>He melts even further into it, resting his head onto Benji’s shoulder as he feels the boys arm snake up his shirt and rub circles onto his back. </p><p>They stay like that for a while, both contempt and peaceful. Victor pulls away first but keeps his body leaned over so that he is only a few inches away.</p><p>“This was my first time ever telling someone.” Victor says. He realizes it as the words leave his mouth and he feels himself gleam. He feels his backache begin to dull and his pounding head begins to quiet. </p><p>“Wow, well I’m happy you feel comfortable enough to tell me.” Benji mirrors his expression.</p><p>Victor looks up from his hands and back into those eyes that he could recognize anywhere. He notices that the white lights surrounding them cause them to sparkle and look even more dreamy. </p><p>His gaze lowers and lands onto the other boy’s lips before he can catch himself. After a few seconds, he realizes and then quickly snaps his gaze away. </p><p>Part of Victor wants to pretend the whole moment didn’t happen and prays that Benji didn’t notice but he fears that he has as a chuckle escapes the other boy’s mouth. He then watches out of the corner of his eye as Benji brings his hand up and cups his cheek, lightly pushing his head so that he was facing him again. </p><p>They lock eyes once again before they both drift close and slowly begin to lean in. Their lips finally connect and it’s as if fireworks are set off inside of Victor. He feels like he’s floating as the kiss deepens. It’s slow and a little messy yet still filled with so much passion. </p><p>He’s never kissed anyone before but he imagines that it wouldn’t feel as good with anyone else. They eventually pull apart as they gasp for breath, both smiles impossibly large.</p><p>They stay up there for a while, and for the first time in a long time, Victor doesn’t think about his family. He doesn’t think about his parent's issues or his sibling's problems. All he thinks about is the cute boy next to him as they admire the moonlit sky and share stories with each other. And for once in his life, he’s completely and totally happy.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>